La beaute interieure

I am declaring independence and growing as a person. I am taking on the responsibility of my life, being accountable for my own actions and choices.   

Next week, I begin my part time job as a barista. Stepping down to IOP. My parents are finally starting to believe and trust in me. Moving into my own sublet in a week or two. Going to take an online class as well.

To enable change, it takes more than just a desire to, more than just will power. The reason why bad habits and addictions are so difficult to change is because of momentum. What is needed is a STRONG sense of determination along with tools, opposing forces, to deal with obstacles hindering recovery.

I must hold myself accountable, reach out for support, be transparent and honest with not only myself, but others as well… I must be open to change, I must be the change I wish to see. I must be firm with myself and be mindful of my emotions to distinguish them from how things are in their objective nature. I must be loving and forgiving to myself because love is the most effective enabler of positive growth and true change for the better. I must be compassionate with myself. And I will. I can. I am.

I seek to be content and satisfied with my own standards and disregard others’ expectations of me. I am me and I will do what’s best for myself.

I am happy. I am no longer a victim of depression. I have the power within me to thrive, to love, to cherish all that life has to offer. 

Thus begins another chapter of my life. I’ve been ready for recovery for so long and it’s the first time I am able to not only taste it, but actually ‘have it and eat it too.’