Sometimes, I look up at the sky and admire the beauty of the universe. Given the complexity of its nature, how does one even go about visualizing its sheer vastness? We sometimes find ourselves lonely when in reality, we are never alone. We get lost in our own troubles and forget everything around us when times are tough.  Some people do not know what to do with the pain they feel. They resort to hurting themselves and other people. Some grow incredibly angry at their feelings of purposelessness and commit awful, unjust acts of violence toward others. 

There are people being tortured, starved, abused, and raped. There are children of addicts who feel like burdens to the world, neglected and full of shame, yearning to be nurtured with love. There are parents feeling overwhelmed with guilt for their inability to provide sustaining care for their families. There are people being crippled by their feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and loneliness, perceiving the world as a so desolate a place that they finally decide to throw the gift of life away.

Whatever has happened to our human dignity? Have we really become such a sad and lost society that we have lost touch with our morality? I truly believe that every human being is born with an innate goodness encompassing the ability to hold compassion for others and love for oneself. Unfortunate circumstances such as natural disasters, trauma, abuse, and violence sometimes arise and lead us to suffer, blocking this goodness from shining through to our conscience. People grow conditioned to their fears and begin to live in constant states of anxiety in response to these negative experiences. Some people find solace from their uncomfortable states of minds by turning to drugs and unhealthy behaviors. 

Many people argue that addictions are not diseases because the one afflicted consciously brought it upon oneself. What people fail to understand is that physical changes occur and rewire the neurocircuitry of one’s brain. Once a habit has been reinforced over and over again, it evolves into a very real, physical manifestation: the disease of addiction. 

I find the complexity of the human mind absolutely fascinating. My personal struggle with an affliction blossomed into a burning curiosity and drive to unlock the mystery of the brain, what I believe to be the epitome of our human potential. We know so little about its workings. We have many proposed many theories about the way people think, age, and learn, but still have no clear understanding of the biological mechanisms. If we can learn to control and tune the physical biochemistry of our brains for the better, we can resolve a lot of problems that cost us globally, socioculturally, economically, and individually at the emotional level. 

I often ponder about things beyond this world— metaphysical concepts revolving around the multitude of world religions, the theories about death, and a possibility of something greater. I have come to believe these ideas about world we live in:  Everything and all living beings are interdependent and connected, therefore nobody is ever alone in his suffering. We can promote happiness in the world by developing compassion towards others, learning to value our differences and cooperating to embrace them. The human mind is powerfully incredible. Because of its limitless potential, with the right tools and a good understanding of its ways, we can achieve anything— even world happiness.  

I decided to pursue the study of neuroscience as my undergraduate major. After my first semester of college, I transferred from a small school near Atlanta to Boston University in hopes of reaping insight from their well-developed neuroscience program. To name a few, I’ve been learning a lot about cognitive processes, habit formation, learning, memory, and motivational systems. I plan on applying to medical school and conducting research on the treatment of addictions. 

My hope is that we will one day find a way to alleviate the pain that people, families, and societies face due to addictions. I would like to participate globally in humanitarian medicine and work with urban poverty, particularly in places such as Skid Row, where addictions and mental illnesses are the overarching issues. 

I have faith in humanity. I envision that there will be a time where we all will live as one, full of hopes and dreams, of love and kindness. I believe the answers lie in our brains. As Bruce Lipton said in The Biology of Belief, “In this world anything is possible when you put your mind to it. I know that your mind can work miracles.” 

1 Notes

4/15/13 Two Explosions at the Boston Marathon

Whatever has happened to human dignity? Have we really become such a sad and lost nation that we’ve lost touch with our innate morality? The images were so graphic. What would compel anybody to commit such an awful, unjust act? So terrible… The explosions were felt far and wide, even on campus here at BU. After training all those weeks, only to be greeted with a violent explosion at the finish line… The rest of their lives, forever changed in a matter of seconds. 

We need better mental health care. We need to instill good virtue and teach the value of a human being to our children. We need to figure out what is going on with our brains. We need to help people remember that they are human and realize that they are not alone.

1 Notes

My Response to the Albany High School Nazi Assignment

When participating in the Forensics League during HS, I learned that debate is not about finding truth. The art of debate is persuasion, winning your audience regardless of whether or not you truly believe in what you are arguing for.

School is for teaching kids to see things from all kinds of perspectives. It is about helping kids harness theory of mind- ability to attribute mental states to oneself and others and to understand that others have beliefs, desires, and intentions that are different from one’s own. We must learn to not only acknowledge the presence of, but to value our differences as individuals, people, cultures, and societies. Scholarly exposure to multiple perspectives on heated topics will enable us to harness compassion for other beings… ALL beings, ‘good’ and ‘bad.’

So, while the Holocaust may have been a horrible, inhumane occurrence of the past, learning to see how and why the ideas fueling Nazism came about is absolutely vital to moving forward. Forgiveness comes from compassion and understanding.

In addition, we cannot jump to conclusions and judge this teacher, as we have no idea what his/her intentions were in creating this assignment. Nonetheless, the assignment could have been framed in a more nuanced manner. The teacher should’ve took the time to explain him/herself.

April 13, 2013 Grandma’s Love

Sometimes, I look up at the sky and admire its beauty: the beauty of the universe. Given the complexity of its nature, how does one even go about visualizing its sheer vastness? We sometimes find ourselves lonely when we are not even alone. We get lost in our own troubles and forget everything around us, everything in this vast universe, when times are tough. 

As human beings, we come to understand the inescapable fact of impermanence, a law of the universe, that every being who lives will eventually die someday. No matter how true we know this fact to be, however, the reality of death never fails to surprise us when it comes. 

We cannot avoid experiencing the sadness of separation. Why do people die? Where do they go? Will we ever see them again? What is life? To truly know the universality of death, to bake it into ours bones so that we do not feel alone because everyone knows death, first we have to feel our own grief.
Grief can feel like a hand around your throat, squeezing until it is hard to breathe. It can come up when your heart is unguarded — in places your loved ones used to cherish, in places that ignite memories of  your times with them. This pain, this feeling of emptiness, can be so unbearable at times… that it can be powerful enough to drive us to introspect, enabling us to harness compassion for others. 

A wise friend of mine once sat by me quietly as I mourned a loved one’s death. While no words can heal the hearts of those who have lost, silence can bring about warm reverberations of love from deep within those people’s hearts. So to all of those who are suffering now, to those who may have not yet felt the shock of loss, to anyone who was touched by ______, I encourage you to look around. Look around you… and take a moment to remember….

[silence for a few moments]


As the Japanese poet, Basho, said:
There is nothing you can see that is not a flower;
There is nothing you can think that is not the moon.
As one of this universe, you are not alone.. and you are never alone in your sadness. We are all interdependent, connected. And because of this interdependence, gone forever, she is not. Her essence continues to flow through us… through the rivers, through the oceans… Her kindness and love radiate through all of us. And with each passing moment, we will find that it is this love and kindness of hers that gives us strength to carry on. 

_____, you will always be loved and remembered. May you go on in peace.

Feeling hopeless.
Want to let go.
Let go of hope.
No expectations
unfulfilled.

Anhedonia.
Nothing really feels
pleasurable. 

Snap out of it?
Why can’t I?
You ask.

Wake up and get a
damn grip on
your life.

Excuses,
Always.
Excuses,
Begone.

I want these excuses begone.

Truth is
I don’t even
know.

I don’t know what
truth is
anymore.

Wandering, wandering,
aimlessly
wandering.